The Chasm

I've been diligently working on my conditioning at ADAPT and at home.  I have pretty much stopped attending TKD classes except for sparring; I want to get as many rounds in as possible before May.  The (non-sparring) classes simply don't offer anything I find useful at this point in my training.  I get my conditioning outside of the dojang, and I'm not interested in practicing crazy-irrelevant stuff such as handstands and kip-ups. 
As far as the other stuff goes, I'm still on my own.  Let's be clear here: there are NO classes that I can attend as a student in which I can learn the techniques I still lack.  NONE.  I am working during both of the classes where weapons and forms are taught by a master.  I can learn the forms from DVDs and YouTube, so that's how I'm doing it (only two more to learn!).  The nunchuck stuff?  Well, beats me.  I get to watch Master Jung teaching other students the techniques I don't know while I'm busy with the beginners.  The other master candidates have learned the techniques from the one student (!) who was taught by master J.K. Kim at the Lake Oswego school.  What would your reaction be if you signed up for (and paid for) a college class, only to find out that the teacher insisted that you learn the curriculum from another student in the class?
Through all these challenges, I am left with the rather ironic knowledge that I love taekwondo.  When the training is good, and it can be good, I enjoy it so much.  I have punched through some severe anxieties because of TKD.  For the first time in my life I believe in myself, my abilities, and my inherent goodness as a person; this is all from good TKD training.  I'm having a blast in the sparring classes; the pain feels good!
  Most importantly, in spite of the feedback I get from my employers, I know that I'm a very good teacher.  I have a lot more to offer than my current circumstances allow, and it won't be long before this all comes out to shine.  More details to come.